What to say on an online dating first message
Writing a good one isn’t just about substituting “awesome” for “hot”—it’s about making a connection using what you know about them and what you know about yourself.
When you build commonality, conversation flows naturally and a date is inevitable.
Please send a picture of yourself holding a can of sweetcorn in your left hand.’ You’d definitely filter out people who didn’t share you sense of humour at least!
It can be intimidating to write a message for a perfect stranger in hopes of finding a love interest online, but all you need is practice and a little finesse.
How about, ‘I was pleased to see that you’re a fan of crosswords – I didn’t like to say in my profile but I’ve actually won the Telegraph crossword twice!
’ If you want to keep things light-hearted, start with one of those questions that everyone has an opinion about.
Superficial come-ons from strangers on the web aren’t attractive. Do Stand Out and Be Funny or Genuine Instead of offering a line about how cute or sexy someone is, say something more memorable. This is your chance to stand out from the crowd by expressing yourself the way only you can.
Pick-up lines are overused and won’t tell your matches anything substantial about you as a person. Let the person of interest see that you’re someone special and worth getting to know. Do Ask a Question or Two Asking a question is the best way to get someone to respond to you.
So inquire about a favorite hobby, a mentioned career, if they like beer, or anything really. You should keep it somewhat concrete and relevant to the profile, avoiding “how are you? To start the conversation off well, you don’t need more than a couple of insightful and engaging questions in your message. Save the slang for when you’re more familiar with the person.
I have always considered myself pretty decent at conversation — I am sure there are some people who find me awkward, or just aren’t a fan of mine for whatever reason.
But, for the most part, I consider myself someone who can talk about a variety of subjects, with a variety of people.
However, this is not only disingenuous, it’s poor dating strategy. When composing your message, give an accurate representation of yourself—good, bad, and ugly—to get a positive response.
A little self-awareness shows you to be the honest-to-goodness real-deal amongst a crowd of frauds and phonies.