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Dear Antonella, I wrote about this in a chapter of Why You’re Still Single called:”Diminishing Returns.”In it, a woman wonders why a man would invest time, energy and money in somebody he might not even care about.(There was originally a great joke about oral sex here that was later removed by editors, but the point remains the same.)A guy can want to fall in love, tell you you’re beautiful, treat you like a queen, and ravish you in the bedroom, and it still doesn’t give any indication that he’s actually interested. He’ll call you as soon as possible to make plans to see you again. Any other excuse, as pointed out ad nauseum in He’s Just Not That Into You, is meaningless.You’re not wrong, Antonella, for wanting to find some clarity in your relationship.All of a sudden my own tried-and-true excuse sounded like the biggest f*cking load of bullshit I'd ever heard.I know full well "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" is code for “I’m not looking for a relationship right now with YOU." But also, "Please don’t be alarmed if we flash forward three months, and I’m in a full-blown relationship with a girl I like."Turns out it's pretty painful when some douche tells me he’s not looking for anything serious, so we keep “casually” hooking up, until suddenly, BAM! I don’t want to hurt her but I don’t want to waste her time either. In my opinion, this one is pretty simple; all it takes is just a bit of maturity combined with honesty and sensitivity. When two people begin to date, they put so much on the line.
It is much better to give closure to something that has been started.It’s normal that, over the course of a month, your feelings would start to deepen and develop.But one month is still a short period of time and unless you’re quite positive that he’s on the same love track as you are, I would lean back and play it cool.Click here to learn how to tell if your boyfriend is falling in love with you.I'm going to be totally up-front: I have been on both sides of the "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" breakup line.