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” After that statement, the whole date was just sort of a wash. If you can’t stand up to the fact that she’s surveying your every move for any signs of “dad-like” characteristics, or you wouldn’t even consider going to help her if she texts you last minute to cancel a date because her kids are all taking turns throwing up on her, then don’t ask her out. 5.) Honor the “baggage:” Look, as humans, we’ve all got baggage, but single parents seem to have a couple extra bags.Kids hard when you’re a single parent, but they’re also my everything. Understand there was someone before, either an ex- and parent of her child, or in a widow’s case, a husband and father will never be forgotten and who will always be loved, always.We watched her crawl for the first time on the floor of a hotel lobby — while on a magazine assignment for me. Those early stages of dating that are often filled with drunken nights and romantic drifting were pretty much impossible for us. I could also say, “One more pair of socks to pick up and also, um, the will to move my body for, um, sex?! ” It’s not a single mom or working mom or married mom thing — parenting can sometimes feel crazy amazing crazy hard.Whatever the sacrifices were, we liked what we had. Many times a day — especially now that we all live together in an apartment in Brooklyn — I ask myself, “Am I still a single mom?Dating can be so stressful and overwhelming, but if you look at it with the right perspective, it’s also a huge opportunity to learn about yourself and others.I’ve learned what to look for and what I’m OK with and what I’m definitely NOT OK with.And through the strange encounters I’ve had, I’ve learned the most valuable lesson.I’d rather be alone, than settle for a man who doesn’t honor my situation and all that comes with it just because I’m lonely. With a background in journalism and a sudden need to “figure out what to do,” she turned to writing about her experience with a husband with cancer, caregiving and widowed parenting and overcoming the aloneness of all of the above.
She hopes that by sharing her story with transparency and heart will bring others hope and empower them to share their own stories. I felt proud to be a solo parent and idolized the single moms who helped me get there. They might have thought I was bragging — but actually it was the contrary.I got a lot of interest and requests to go out when that one tiny detail of me being a full-time-no-breaks-no-weekends-away or shared custody-no circle of friends or grandparents how to even attempt to date a single mom.(I get it, NOT ALL GUYS are clueless and if you met yours online, awesome! ) I figured maybe I’d put out a kind of PSA if you will, for those of you who are actually considering dating a single mom: 1.) Realize the cost of childcare: It may just be a coffee or drink out of your pocket, but for the single mom you’re asking out it’s SO much more.