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Tina Payne Bryson to discuss strategies to help single parents successfully navigate getting back into the dating world.Why do single parents feel guilty when they do things for themselves, like dating? Bryson: Parents, in general, feel responsible for their kid’s happiness, and to some degree it’s healthy. Of course we want to do that as much as we can; but ultimately, we’re here to nurture our children and give them the experiences they need.If you're not quite sure you're ready to start actually going out to meet men at bars and other social gatherings, you might consider online matchmaking. Right check out Single Parent which allows you to narrow the field by specifying age, education level and more. We sat down with noted parenting consultant and e Harmony Parenting contributor Dr.What effect do outside activities like dating actually have on children in Single Parent homes? Bryson: When you add up all of the factors that determine whether your child is going to be happy and mentally healthy as an adult, the most important question to ask is, “Have they had a secure attachment with a loving caregiver who perceives and meets their needs a majority of the time? The concern that most parents should have is, “Am I taking care of myself enough to respond to those needs in a positive way? Ironically, we probably SHOULD feel guilty when we stop tending to our own needs. What if your children express a negative reaction to your interest and participation in meeting new people? Bryson: The first thing is to authentically and honestly talk with your child, and you can even do this with very young children in an age-appropriate way. “Mom’s going to spend time with friends, because it’s good for me.I’ll set up something fun for you to do.” The level of detail will need to be determined by the age of the children.Single parents often have an additional burden, especially if the child doesn’t spend much time with both parents.
When it's time for the kids to meet this great new man, make it a casual meeting somewhere other than home. But the bedroom is not the best place to start a relationship.
These tips can help you get started on the right foot... But this is your life and you are the one who gets to live it, not someone else. As a single mom, it's easy for your whole life to be wrapped up in your kids.
If your kids are young, just imagine how many years you'll be out of the dating scene before they leave home. Don't expect your kids to be overjoyed when you first start dating. Explain that you love them, but you also like to spend time with your friends (just like they do). And as the adult, you get to make the decisions and not your kids. But they shouldn't be the main topic of conversation during your date.
So the next time you feel that old sense of guilt creeping up on you, use these tips to short circuit those unwelcome negative emotions: Finally, allow yourself time to heal.
The guilt you feel right now—whether it's warranted or not—won't always feel as intense as it does today.