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And when we fall into the trap of seeing ourselves as less appealing than other women, it’s easy to feel grateful to be “found.” That’s a recipe for a bad match.

Here’s why: Your concern about being viewed as “young” or attractive makes you even less willing to speak up about what you want.

Admit that you hate camping or fishing or baseball, or that you don’t drive at night, and let that help draw the right kinds of potential daters.

We do a better job at screening out people who aren’t suited to us when we take time to engage in a little conversation without rushing to meet them.

That’s because the messages we grew up with about what a woman is supposed to do and say can hinder our ability to find the person we’re searching for.

Remember those admonitions about being “too forward”? Online dating is a process that starts with “who is this person?

Millions of people of all ages use online dating sites, and many have found love or friendship that way.

But whether you’re actually looking online or have just flirted with the idea, if you’re an older woman you might have an inkling that this way of meeting potential partners is especially challenging for you.

It can make finding someone you like seem more like a competition.These individuals write charming, romantic, flattering messages designed to convince older women to fall for them—they assume that because we’re older, we are more likely to respond to flattery.You can avoid scammers by looking for inconsistencies in a profile, taking it slow and asking lots of questions.” And the only way to start answering that question is by getting answers.But as older women, we may not feel we can ask a lot of questions of someone we’ve just exchanged a message with online. Speaking up about what we’re looking for is even harder—will we be labeled aggressive?

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