Girls find me intimidating scripture on interracial dating
Instead, I decided to just be myself — loud mouth and all.
I embraced my independence, my outspoken nature, my wit, my smarts, and, also, the flaws that make me me.
The men who I wanted to be dating, on the other hand, wouldn’t call me for a second date, because they’re men who like forthright, independent, complicated women — and that’s not who I was being.
It took me a while to understand that, by covering up my supposedly intimidating attributes, I wasn’t “fixing” myself; I just wasn’t being true to myself.
But as I got older, and the men I’d date started calling me intimidating as a way to weasel out of the situation we were in, I realized that the opposite sex didn’t always see intimidation as a positive thing.
And in talking to my queer friends, I found that this phenomenon seems to mainly occur in heterosexual relationships.
If I disagreed with him on anything, I’d avoid even a friendly debate, and smile tightly and change the subject.
I tried to make myself appear smaller so I wouldn’t overshadow the man I was out with. A string of egocentric assholes who wanted to me small so that they felt bigger.
It was then that I gave myself the freedom to stop caring about being intimidating.
I believe that to a certain extent — I won’t open up and spill of my neuroses on the table right away, even though I overthink everything.
But I now also believe that you need to still be yourself, not the person you think your date wants you to be.
Basically, it seemed to me that if a woman is better than a man she’s dating in any aspect of her life, she’s automatically cast as “too intimidating.”I was immediately pissed, because a lot of the characteristics that men evidently considered intimidating were fundamental parts of me.
I’ve always been incredibly driven in my career, and I consider myself moderately successful.