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Did you say thanks the last time she left you a note and a treat? If you miss these chances too many times, not only will the favors diminish, but the connection possibilities disappear—and that’s far more important than whatever she did for you in the first place. It lets your wife know you think she’s special enough to brag about. Saying you’re sorry is one of the simplest ways you can stop a fight or reduce hurt feelings. Buying your wife something or giving her a hug is NOT an apology.

This is true for things that are not so serious like keeping the bathroom sink clear of clutter to who is going to initiate sex. Don’t assume you know what your wife wants or needs. (See above entry.) It’s okay to try to be sensitive and anticipate what your spouse wants, but that does not replace regular verbal communication and confirmation. Remember that when your spouse is telling you something personal, they are exposed and vulnerable just like you are. Listen carefully, respond verbally and kindly, and remember it for the future. Let your wife in on your plans before you disappear somewhere.Perhaps worse is the “I’m sorry but you have to understand that you’re wrong and I’m right” apology.This is when you say you’re sorry but excuse yourself and place blame on your spouse.He does other things, like researching and buying things I need or asking me to take a walk. If you notice your wife is feeling blue, do something special, even if it’s sitting and watching a movie with her or giving her a neck rub. Too many times we get used to what our spouses do that we expect it.Yes, you should always ask if she’d prefer that you keep everyone out while she sleeps (but usually that’s a man thing and women prefer to have sympathetic company). If you take a moment to reflect, you will find something to be grateful for and saying it will open doors.

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