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One of the first times Foltz took the initiative and asked a guy out, it went really well. “It ended up being one of the most romantic experiences of my life.” She believes making the first move gave the man a helpful confidence boost.
“Sometimes guys are afraid, too.” And with the advent of dating apps such as Bumble, which require women to make the first move to avoid online harassment, it’s not only common for women to initiate a date, it’s increasingly expected.
While some might lament the loss of anonymity, Manley adds that this isn’t always such a bad thing.
“You have to be really clear on what you want,” says Lindsay Chrisler, a professional dating coach based in Hell’s Kitchen. “Everything goes down over text now, especially between millennials,” Manley says.
Foltz, 29, says it can be tricky, but that gender norms are still at play.
“I have a more masculine energy, so I usually pay on the first date,” she says.
“[But] they’re not a great way to go deep or get to know the person’s personality.” Chris Donahue, a 28-year-old writer from Brooklyn, believes men should still foot the bill, at least on the first date.
“It opens up a kind of flirty dialogue of like, ‘You can pay for the next date,’ ” he says.