Dating and courtship book Sexnederlanddating
Seems like we may be ready for some deep reflection on dating culture.
Why do you think it is resonating so much right now?
Our conversation has been edited for brevity and clarity.
What you point out is how, even from the early days of dating in the early 20th century, we've talked about it as a form of shopping -- and as a game.
I feel like that era was fun — with the serious proviso that if you were queer, not white, not middle class, it was not fun.
This is your first book, and it got a lot of attention (in the New Yorker, the Atlantic, and the New York Times).
My book is mostly about college-educated people in cities. We have these shows like — it’s aspirational dating.
When we date, we toil as actors in a drama written by society and the lovers who came before us, she observes.
It's an astounding shift from a century ago, when an unchaperoned "date" was avant-garde, even suspicious to the authorities, writes Moira Weigel in Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating, an extraordinary book published in 2016.
Women invited by men to drink in bars were seen as loose and uncouth.
A related point you make is how participating in digital dating culture today is dependent upon having money.
The people who are seemingly just browsing — the people I think of as recreational daters — are the unattached urban elite. We now have virtual dating assistants: experts for people who see dating as a part-time job they’re too busy to do themselves.) So modern people who have significant financial burdens are probably not dating and may also not be able to plan for partnership.