Dating a recovering gambling addict
The biggest lesson I learned from the experience is that it’s always, always, always better to be unhappy on your own than unhappy with somebody else.
I have a completely different attitude about sex now.
Twelve years after my relationship with a sex addict, I can look back and say that it was one of those life experiences that changed me for the better.
It made me learn to love myself and work out exactly what I wanted from a partner.
I should have left him after he turned me into a paranoid, suspicious, nervous wreck. After Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne‘s recent marriage issues, sex addiction has been a talking point, but a lot of people still don’t get it.
Being a sex addict doesn’t mean you want to have sex all the time. Being in a relationship with a sex addict undoubtedly changed me for the better — as a woman and as a partner.
Having a very high sex drive is not the same as being a sex addict. On one occasion, he turned that fantasy into a reality. He turned to gambling to try to replicate the high he got from his compulsive sexual acts. My lack of self-esteem made me put my partner’s needs before my own (both in and out of the bedroom), and I saw sex as validation.
I should have been kinder to him when I finally realized the extent of his problem. His sex addiction was no reflection of me — as a person, as a partner or as a lover.
It was completely separate, and way stronger than the bond between us.
I should have left him after he told me he didn’t see himself staying faithful to one person for the rest of his life.
I should have left him after he criticized me in bed, told me I wasn’t exciting enough.