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Where will they be this weekend when the rest of the world is sleeping off their party weekend? (My happy place is on the tennis court with friends, in the music studio with or without friends, and in the close proximity to the woman of potential.) How will you find the partner who is into the things that you are into?As best you can, it’s best if you remain focused on the current day and hour you are experiencing with this other person, rather than spending a lot of time and energy visualizing the places you’ll go together. Sure, dreams are good, and dreams fuel our passion and energy, but…You dreams can lead you astray in your love relationship.Ask about what she loves about being a mom, ask about what her kids' interests are, admit that you've never seen . Liking her kids isn't the same as raising her kids. Until the mini people are old enough to get their own cereal and turn on the cartoons, there's no such thing as sleeping in. Be supportive if she complains about him, but whatever you do, don't talk badly about him in front of the kids (it's actually included in many custody agreements; don't make a sticky situation stickier). She can't just see how the night goes and stay out as long as she might want. Goldfish crackers and Band-aids are never far away. Hand sanitizer, Chapstick, a small dinosaur, some crayons, or a flashlight? You might have some really great ideas about how you think she could do things, and you might have some strong ideas about how children should behave. If you really want to impress everyone, let her sleep while you get the pancakes going and put the coffee on, or take everyone on a doughnut run. It's very likely he will be a large part of her life for at least the next 18 years, so get used to it. Babysitters are people too, and good ones are a hot commodity. If she told the babysitter she'd be home by 11, make sure she's home by 11!
It's probably best you move along if either of you wants something long-term. You might have a really fun time with your nephew at Christmas, but this isn't the same as cleaning up vomit at 3 a.m. At least not until you're all functioning as a family unit, which takes time, honesty, and patience, and possibly some therapy. You're at the mercy of custody agreements, parent-teacher conferences, skinned knees, stuffy noses, and — buy her wine for this one — lice. Throw everything you know about Sunday Funday out the window. Handling what life serves is her modus operandi — she's been handling it since before you came along, and she's prepared to handle it if you leave. Pamper her because you admire her Terminator strength to always keep going.
Answer: I will join mixed doubles leagues and teams to come in contact with and spend time with women who love to play tennis.
Once a potential partner has been found your path forward must be intentional, honest, and clearly spoken.
Online dating is okay as a learning process, but not all that efficient if you’re looking for a long-term relationship.
(Not to say you can’t find the love of your life online, you might be able to connect and marry your OK Cupid crush, but there are some barriers inherent in the self-promotional dating profile dance we all do online.